The saying; Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans, is true in many cases. And now, in this moment in time nothing happens, no plans can be made, even if you do are you able to do them in this current situation.
Plus as a fact, you cannot plan life really, it happens. I have had this happen to me so many times. You can make all the plans you want for yourself, but life probably has a completely different set of plans. Everyone has been let down at one time or another when their life hasn’t quite gone the way they would like. I know my life is far from what I had planned and I’m sure a lot of people have had that happen to them, too.
Life molds you as time goes on changing your life as it sees fit. This is not to say that I don’t have a good life, but it is totally different to what I planned when I was young.
in this moment in time, I feel sad, kind of helpless and frustrated at the same time. Depression, I have mild one. A self diagnosis for sure. I think lots of people do at this time. Lots of things contribute to it in my case.
The fact, that I am not able to get a job. I have this feeling, that I don’t know anything or a not able to do anything that is required in the jobs I have skills for. I know I have the skill, but I feel that I don’t. You apply to various positions, maybe get an interview, end up being in the best 2 – 5 people, this is no comfort. Also this relates to the main thing, where am I going to get the money to live. The feeling of being worth something, also in this context.
Covid, it has some effect on everyone I am sure, some more, some less. I have taken it mostly OK, it is what it is. Still, that you are not able to do all the things you want to is restrictive. I am in the good situation that all my family is close and we are able to be in contact. But one of the concerns is that it has caused also unemployment in the younger generation including my kids, so you worry about their income.
Also depression has hit some of my close ones hard, not mildly but severely. It is hard to see how it takes hold of the person and how it resonates to the people close to them. The helpless feeling as you do not know how to help. Action more than words are more effective.
Winter is, and never has been, the best of the seasons, and people who have read my post in the past know this. I have complained about enough. But as winter go this was not the worst by all means. And spring is on it’s way, I am so happy about that.
I’ll stop now. Work on my art and photos to put my mind out of this non productive rambling.
If you read this far, thank you 🙂
Ritva Sillanmäki Photography 
sending you joy Ritva … knowing we’re in a pandemic isn’t the same as living through it… and yes make more art … music … well make it through this yet 🤓🤗🌸🌞 hugs hedy
Thanks Hedy for your kind word, creating new is so important, one thing that keeps me not going lower in this situation. we all have our coping mechanisms, art is mine.
Life can be tough….
… it’s life 🙂
Yes
I completely understand what you are saying, being in the same juncture. Out of work for the first time in my adult life, wrestling with my self-worth, and trying to remain inspired by my art. I’m finding just writing my blog has been therapeutic, keeping me engaged in a larger world where, like you, we are experiencing the joys and sorrow together. Wishing you joy and fulfilment on this journey.
I can totally relate to your words, and you do beautiful art. Ed, you too take care. Thanks so much for sharing your situation too.
For completely selfish reasons I dreaded reading this. I thought you were going to say you were quitting blogging. I would really miss you, Ritva. But you are staying, and that makes me happy. I hope things get better. And soon, too.
Lois, you are so kind. thanks I appreciate you saying so 🙂 This is one of the things keeps me going, I have made myself do this everyday even if not always motivated. Keeps me in touch with people with similar interest. Love your comments and encouragement, Thanks Lois 🙂
Dear Ritva, I think I understand what you are feeling – and maybe many more people can relate to your thoughts. The Corona Virus has brought about a change to the whole world and I tend to think that nothing will ever be “normal” again. Job losses, depression, anxiety and feelings of worthlessness seem to be all around us. For us in the southern hemisphere winter will be here soon, although thankfully not anything like your season! But then I stand by my gate and watch a kitten making summersaults in the light of the streetlamp as it tries to catch little bugs flying in the still dusk air. And I hear the sound of the ocean and smell the salty air and I realise that it is good to be alive. I am so fortunate to still be healthy although I am part of the senior section of our society. I might not be able to visit my daughter in America, but I can hear her voice and see her sweet face on my laptop. And fortunately I have two more daughters who live very close to me. And as the morning light shines through my window and my little cat stirs sleepily next to me, I realise that all is not lost. In fact, there is One who is aware of all our difficulties and worries and He has promised to not let us slip out of His hand.
I wish you Love and Light, and want you to know that your beautiful photography has warmed so many hearts and regularly fills me with awe. You are so talented and bring joy to so many of us. Take care, things will get better – it may just take longer than we want. Warm wishes, Veronica
Thank you Veronica for your truly kind words, it warms my heart. I do notice the small and big joys of life, grandkids, our cats, my husband, I am very blessed that way. I have a good life. This too will pass as many other stressful situations have. I wish you joy to the coming winter, enjoy the ocean and beautiful nature surrounding you. You live in a place I dream of 😀
The Times They Are A-Changin’ , (Bob Dylan). Today is not like yesterday but once you get the vaccinations going full speed, we will be freer and we will get the energy back. I suffered slight depression and total “don’t want to do anything” months. I took my big camera out last week and realized last time I used it was almost a year ago. Be brave and believe. xoxo
Nothing else you can do, go on. Great tp hear you found your camera again. it will ne couple months before we get the vaccination. We are in the most severe lock down we’ve had in weeks time … but spring is coming.
Ritva, my friend, well I’ve read this far but then, I wouldn’t think of doing anything else. I am always interested to hear your thoughts, and I very much understand the place in which you are now. Covid is one thing of course, but the difficulties in obtaining employment – both for you and for the younger members of your family – is another thing again. One thing though, I don’t think I’ve ever planned how my life will be, I seem to have just gone (aimlessly?) through a series of situations or events. Just stay safe now. 🙂
I agree, life happens, I am not or have been a planner, I just act on situations. I am a strong believer in , it will workout OK, we will see. Thanks Adrian, happy to hear that you like reading my thoughts 🙂 Have a great weekend.